Stepping Up: The Power of Being a Father (Even If Yours Wasn’t Around)

There’s a saying in Memphis: “You can’t barbecue without smoke, and you can’t raise a child without showing up.” For a lot of us, the idea of fatherhood is complicated—especially if your own dad wasn’t in the picture. But here’s the truth: your story doesn’t end where his absence began. You’ve got the power to change the narrative. 

Being a father isn’t about being perfect. It’s about presence. It’s about making sure your kids know you’re in their corner, even if you’re still figuring out how to throw a spiral or braid hair (hey, YouTube is your friend, brother).

Let’s get real for a second. You may not have had that “dad” example growing up, but you can still be the hero your kids need. Here’s how:

5 Key Ways to Show Up as a Father (No Matter Your Past)

1. Be Present, Not Just Accounted For

- It’s more than just being in the house. Put down the phone, turn off the Grizzlies game, and really listen when your kid is talking—even if it’s about dinosaurs or TikTok dances.

2. Lead by Example

- Your actions teach louder than your words. Show respect, hustle hard, and let your kids see you bounce back from setbacks—Memphis grit, baby!

3. Say “I Love You” Out Loud

- Don’t be shy. Memphis men know real strength is in the heart. Tell your kids you love them, and don’t wait for a special occasion.

4. Create Traditions (Even Small Ones)

- Saturday pancakes, walks at Shelby Farms, or making up silly songs in the car—these moments stick forever.

5. Ask for Help When You Need It

- Real talk: nobody has all the answers. Lean on your village—family, friends, and yes, even your daycare teachers. It takes a community to raise a child in Memphis.

5 Tips to Get Your Kids Ready for Daycare and Preschool (Without Losing Your Mind)

1. Prep the Night Before

   - Lay out clothes, pack bags, and get snacks ready. Mornings in Memphis traffic are wild enough without scrambling for a missing shoe.

2. Talk It Up

   - Hype up daycare like it’s the FedEx Forum on game night. “You’re gonna make new friends, learn cool stuff, and maybe even paint a masterpiece.”

3. Keep Goodbyes Short and Sweet

   - Don’t drag it out. A hug, a smile, and a “See you later, alligator!” will do. Kids feed off your energy—if you’re calm, they will be too.

4. Stay Consistent

   - Drop-off routines help kids feel safe. Whether it’s a secret handshake or a pep talk, consistency is key.

5. Celebrate the Small Wins

   - Made it out the door with matching shoes? That’s a W. No tears at drop-off? Double W. Celebrate progress, not perfection.

Your past doesn’t define your future—or your kids’. Whether you had a father figure or not, you can be the foundation your children need. Memphis is known for soul, resilience, and a whole lotta heart. Bring that same energy to your family, and watch your kids thrive.

And remember: if you can survive a Memphis summer, you can survive preschool drop-off. Keep showing up, keep loving hard, and keep building your legacy—one day at a time.

Want more tips or stories about fatherhood and family life in Memphis? Drop a comment, share your story, or swing by Destination Education—where every parent is part of the family.

Who’s your biggest inspiration as a dad, or what’s one tradition you want to start with your kids?

Let’s get the conversation going!